Tall Tale Theater
William T. Cox's
“ F E A R S O M E   C R E A T U R E S   O F   T H E   L U M B E R W O O D S
(  100th  A N N I V E R S A R Y    H Y P E R T E X T   E D I T I O N  )
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Whirling Whimpus.
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THE WHIRLING WHIMPUS.
(Turbinoccissus nebuloides.)

    Occasionally it happens that inexperienced hunters and others wandering in the woods disappear completely. Guides are unable to locate them, and all kinds of theories are offered to explain the disappearances.
    From the hardwood forests of the Cumberland Mountains, Tennessee, comes the rumor of an animal called the whirling whimpus, the existence of which may throw some light upon the fate of those who fail to come back to camp. According to woodsmen who have been “looking” timber in eastern Tennessee, the whimpus is a blood-thirsty creature of no mean proportions. It has a gorilla-shaped head and body and enormous front feet. Its unique method of obtaining food is to station itself upon a trail, generally at a bend in the trail, where it stands on its diminutive hind legs and whirls. The speed is increased until the animal is invisible, and the motion produces a strange droning sound, seeming to come from trees overhead. Any creature coming along the trail and not recognizing the sound is almost certain to walk into the danger zone and become instantly deposited in the form of syrup or varnish upon the huge paws of the whimpus.
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